When Love walks in.

I was sitting on my bed, where I had been hiding out for more time than I feel comfortable admitting to, when I heard the door to my apartment open and close. Love had walked in and she came and sat beside me. I was not thrilled to see her. I had been hoping it was someone else and the fact that Love was here probably meant the other person wasn't coming.

"I don't want to see you," I said bitterly, as if I were speaking to a flat tire or a leaking water heater.

She smiled at me tenderly. Softly, but firmly she said, "Sorry, it doesn't work that way. The fact that you can see me means it's time."

I didn't get it. "Okay, hold it a minute," I said. "First off, what do you mean 'the fact that I can see you'? You're sitting right beside me. Why wouldn't I see you?"

She gave a gentle laugh. "Ah, a very good question. One I would encourage you to reflect on. But, more specifically, the question really is 'Why do you see me NOW?' You see, I have always been with you. We have never been separate, yet you have not always seen me."

That didn't help. I shot back, "Well, I am really not crazy about seeing you now so why don't you go uplift someone else's spirits. I am not in the mood." I laid down in bed and rolled over, turning my back to her.

Again she gave a gentle little laugh, "Sorry, it just doesn't work that way."

Now, really annoyed, I sat back up and shouted, "Yeah?! So why doesn't it work that way?! Why doesn't it work the way I want it to?!"

"Well, curiously enough, it is working the way you want it to, although not the pain part. When seen from a higher perspective, things are in perfect order, of which you had a wonderful hand in. It's all so Divinely inspiring, wouldn't you say?"

Once again, that didn't help, "Well, excuse me for not seeing things 'from a higher perspective'!"

Once again, she said, "Sorry, it doesn't work that way."

Now I was really ticked, "Will you PLEASE stop saying that!!! What do you mean???"

She leaned forward. "That fact that you can see me means you ARE moving into a higher perspective. You are just resisting letting go and embracing it completely. That is what is causing the suffering. Pain is part of the human experience. Suffering, however, is optional. The fact that you can see me means that a part of you, a part that you had experienced as separate from me, from us, as we are nothing other than the same being, is in fact ready to return to wholeness, from the illusion that it was ever separate. The fact that this part of you is returning kicking and screaming the whole way is your choice, and quite frankly, from a detached perspective, curiously fun to watch at times. You are quite skilled in creating drama for yourself, do you know that? Although it does get old after a time, doesn't it?"

"Yeah," I said quietly. "You know me pretty well, don't you?"

"Like looking in a mirror. Although we are not the one looking. It would perhaps be closer to the truth to say we are 'sight' but that's is for another discussion."

I was beginning to feel much more at peace and said, "Okay, I think I am beginning to understand. What do I do now?"

"Open your heart to that part of you that feels separate. You are looking outside yourself to fill that hole you feel and that is why you feel so attached to something, or someone else. Don't make that part of you that feels separate wrong. It has been knocking on the door of your heart for a very long time. That is what I meant by saying earlier 'it is time'. The fact that you see me now means you are ready for that part to return. You need only open to it. Now is the time".

Things started to shift as I began to experience what she had spoken of. Before I surrendered completely into the experience I asked, "Who are you, really?" I asked.

"I am that part that you are welcoming home, even though it has really never left you. I am the impulse that begins the movement towards openness. I am the openness that receives that part. I am that wherein the part and the openness have their sacred, non-moving dance. I am Love loving itself. I am you."

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